The book Solutions for Adults with Asperger’s Syndrome by Juanita Lovett features two contrasting case studies of autistic individuals, named Keith and Amy1. Whilst Keith’s special talents were identified early on and he was accordingly directed towards a fulfilling career, Amy’s life is a tragic tale of wasted potential.
When Amy was in school, she had an aptitude for biology, was interested in animals and aspired to become a veterinarian. However she would constantly argue with her teachers and refuse to work on something she did not like until her parents made it a rule that she would do whatever her teachers said, no questions asked. In relation to this strategy, the author observes that
Amy’s story … suggests that she functioned best in situations where there were boundaries and clear rules
Her father remarks
“I know it sounds strange, but it worked”
Except that it manifestly did not. For at the age of forty-three Amy was grooming dogs at a local dog hospital and living with a man of seventy (a year older than her father). It pained her parents to reflect on the waste of her abilities as well as the money that had been spent on medical bills and they wondered what they could have done differently.
Whilst the story does not explain exactly why Amy never managed to achieve academic, professional, and indeed personal success, in a general case, fostering unquestioning obedience is rarely desirable particularly when the individual concerned is likely to comply outwardly but remain rebellious inside. The mindset supposedly intended for school cannot suddenly be dropped later in life but turns into a reflex that kicks in automatically and often unconsciously, obstructing the expression of dissenting views.
Amy might have struggled at university and afterwards to question, contradict, push back or negotiate, even when she inwardly disagreed or thought differently to what she was told. She might have tended to regard instructors and employers as superiors, unable to oppose them whilst resenting their authority. Indeed, if her childhood relationships with the key adults in her life - her parents and teachers - were based on obedience rather than respect, she may have struggled to relate to adults as a category as equals, so maybe it is unsurprising that her boyfriend was so much older than her.
Her parents could have taught Amy to pick her battles more wisely and directed her rebellion in more productive ways. Or they could have simply let her be. Instead they favoured expediency which enabled them to avoid dealing with a troublesome child at school but which failed to serve her well in the long run.
- They appear to be real stories with names and details presumably altered to maintain confidentiality; but if the case studies are invented, my commentary still holds as a response to the strategies for dealing with an autistic child outlined in the story. ↩